Manners in Tea Ceremony

This article is written by Seiya H.

At d:matcha’s Tea Business School, I've spoken briefly about tea gatherings. During that time, students asked me about the minimum etiquette needed when attending one, so I’d like to explain that here.

Things to prepare:

• White socks
• Kaishi (Japanese paper)
• Kashi-kiri (sweet pick)

At the very least, I recommend preparing these. You can usually get them for around 1,000–2,000 yen.

Kaishi and a kashi-kiri are used when eating the Japanese sweets that are served before drinking matcha at a tea gathering. While some gatherings provide them, it’s safer to bring your own just in case. As for white socks, the principle in tea ceremony is to wear white tabi. The reason is that even when walking on tatami, the soles remain pure white—symbolizing the cleanliness of the room. Both the host and the guests wear them. You can attend a tea gathering in everyday clothes, but it’s best to change into white socks right before entering the tearoom. For guests wearing kimono, it is common to wear tabi covers over the tabi until entering, keeping them as white and clean as possible.

Points to keep in mind:
This may vary depending on the tea gathering, but I recommend avoiding the seat of the shōkyaku (the main guest), which is the position closest to the host and the alcove (tokonoma). The reason is that the shōkyaku has the role of conversing with the host, asking questions, and helping create the atmosphere of the gathering. Without knowledge of tea ceremony, this can be difficult. So, it’s best to wait until two or three other people have taken their seats first before you sit.

Finally:
There is usually time to view the utensils, but do not take too long. In many modern tea gatherings, dozens of guests are served and the gathering is repeated more than ten times a day. Once you’ve finished drinking your matcha, briefly appreciate the utensils and then allow the host to prepare for the next group. I’ve seen cases where guests were rushed while waiting, but then took their time once it was their turn. I’ve also seen someone scolded for being “too slow” even though they only looked at the utensils for 10 seconds.

All this may make tea gatherings sound strict, but in reality, they are warm, welcoming spaces where you can enjoy delicious Japanese sweets and matcha surrounded by beautiful utensils. For those interested in pottery or tea implements, it can be a particularly precious experience.

Of course, in modern tea gatherings it’s hard to create a leisurely atmosphere because so many guests must be welcomed, but I highly recommend experiencing one at least once.